Friday, 2 December 2016

‘Tis the Season for Reflection


It is that time of year again where we should reflect on the past year and plan for the year ahead. We all do it. Most people feel the need around the festive season, and especially New Year’s, to think back on the past year and plan for the year ahead. New Year’s Resolutions, anyone?


Why do we do this? We know it’s going to fail. We know that we are most likely not going to stick to our new year’s resolutions and give ourselves yet another reason to feel like a failure. Do you enjoy feeling like a failure? I most definitely don’t.

Yet we keep on doing it.

I believe we are approaching the whole idea incorrectly. If you do this reflection once a year and you give it no thought for the rest of the year, there is no way you can succeed. You are quite simply setting New Year’s resolutions because its tradition, or force of habit. And setting yourself up for failure.

Let’s say you want to grow a pot plant. Fair warning: I’m going to pull this example out of proportion ever so slightly. You take a pot, fill it with soil, plant a seed, and give it water. Then you put it on the window sill and imagine how pretty it’s going to be once it’s a beautiful, lush plant with gorgeous flowers. Then, for the next 364 days you go on with your life and forget about the pot plant. You never water it. Is that pot plant going to grow into the beautiful, lush plant with the gorgeous flowers that you had envisioned?

I sincerely hope that you answered “Of course not!” or at the very least “no.”

A year from now you are going to look at that empty, barren pot and feel like a complete failure. You couldn’t even keep a pot plant alive, you inadequate pot plant murderer!

You wouldn’t expect your pot plant to grow if you paid attention to it once a year… How on earth can you expect your hopes and dreams to grow if you only watered it once every 365 and a quarter days. (Yes, 365 and a quarter, because that’s how many days are in a year. Where did you think leap year came from?)

Now the correct approach would be to regularly water your pot plant, maybe talk to it if that’s your thing… I’ll just water it. Maybe give it some fertiliser once in a while, prune it a little…

New Year’s resolutions are a bad idea. Setting realistic goals on the other hand is a fan-freaking-tastic idea!

Let’s have a look at why we should do this?
Our reflection time is necessary to gauge where we are and determine where we want to go. This is the time we tune our compass to ensure we are still on track and don’t wake up one morning, middle aged, unaccomplished, fat, ugly, and dissatisfied with life and living with seven fat, ugly, lazy cats.

I’m going to start with the past year.

The good:


  • I had a fairly good year.
  • I got out of a toxic relationship.
  • Did fairly good professionally.
  • Weeded out my circle of friends and cut out all the toxic people.
  • Made some amazing new friends.
  • Strengthened bonds with my existing amazing friends.
  • Rediscovered and reinvented myself along the way.
  • I am truly happy and satisfied with my life.

The bad:

  • The toxic ex and his family are still stalking me every opportunity they get.
  • I’m not as financially secure as I would like to be.
  • I did not get around to all of my business expansions I had planned for the year.

The Ugly:

  • I still have a lot of projects I need to finish before 2016 is over. Need to work on that time management thing…


All around, 2016 has been kind to me and I’m happy with how it played out so far.

After reflecting on the past year I can start looking at my goals for the next year. What does my pot plant need to grow into that beautiful, lush plant with the gorgeous flowers that I have in mind?
I can now start setting goals. Not just any goals… SMART goals.
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timed

Many people have written many books and articles on the topic of SMART goals. I’m not going to bore you with the details that you already know or can easily find (Google is your friend).

What I do want to mention here is how extremely important it is to reflect and set goals at regular intervals. Check and measure your progress regularly. I recommend a minimum of quarterly. Personally, I review mine monthly. My goals are set up as a checklist. I literally go and tick the ones I’ve attained. Ticking them off makes me feel all accomplished and shit. I’ve made progress.


My pot plant is starting to show little flower buds at this stage, hopefully next year I can report back on some small flowers.


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